Nefarious Rumination

Things are tough right now....but everything will be fine.

2008-07-02T13:20:00.002-07:00

As long as we elect Trent Reznor as President.

I see press conferences with Reznor standing next to a keyboard instead of a lectern, unleashing his special brand of emotional abuse, delivered through powerful industrial electronic riffs, upon a cowering David Gregory.

I want to see Helen Thomas find her "Happiness in Slavery".

Movie Spotlight

2008-05-29T12:50:00.004-07:00

Currently on Showtime Beyond:

Deep Evil (2004)

"An assault team heads into remote Alasksa following a distress signal from a top-secret weapons lab."

There are no stars listed, it is like it is not even rated.

Maybe thats because Lance Cumson is in it.

Lorenzo Lamas
Lorenzo Lamas
Lorenzo....Lamas.

Stop it.

Con Man

2008-05-26T15:33:00.004-07:00

One of the better quotes out there, courtesy of Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy). The scene when he is confronted by the police, while pretending to be a disabled Vietnam veteran, in Trading Places:

Cop: "You were in 'Nam? What unit?"

Valentine: "Uh, the Green Berets Special Unit Battalion's Commando Airborne Tactics Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. It was hush-hush."

back at it, then

2008-05-25T14:45:00.001-07:00

i send too many emails to friends of mine. i should put it all here. I will try to start doing so.

currently playing : Radiohead / "Packt Like Sardines" / Amnesiac

Dr. Evil is really Lorne Michaels

2007-10-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

Dennis miller has a radio show these days. Dana Carvey was on tonight and he did an impression of SNL Producer Lorne Michaels asking Carvey (while part of the cast) if had nailed the Danny Bonaduce impersonation yet. After Carvey's brief monologue, Miller commented that the accent Myers uses in the Austin Powers movies, as Dr. Evil, is actually Myers impersonating Carvey impersonating Lorne Michaels.

It was true, at least according to my ear.

Obi-Wan's Big Entrance

2007-03-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

Watched some Return of the Jedi again tonight....because HBO is shoving it down my throat. I got something out of it though, in this case a good chuckle after noticing something I never noticed before. I was wondering about Obi-Wan and his ability to use the Force to communicate with Luke Skywalker even though Kenobi is dead. When Luke is visiting Yoda and Obi-Wan appears, he appears 25 feet away and sort of walks into the scene as if he is returning from a nice walk around the block. If he is so powerful, why can't he just materialize on a swamp log, right next to Luke? Its almost as if that is too easy, and he enjoys materializing a few feet away so he can make a big show of it.

I'm not sure, but I had a good laugh either way.

the military channel

2007-03-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

Just seen on the Military Channel, during an episode of "Warbots": brief comment from one of the Northrop Grumman reps, regarding the X-47n flying combat drone. More specifically, comment from a fellow by the name of Mick Jaggers.

That is an awesome name.

Got to get Religion

2007-02-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

I like to exercise, obviously due to the health benefits but also because of the wonderful convergence of endorphins and huge guitar riffs. Nothing makes exercise easier than loud, aggressive rock and roll...especially when you hit the wall and the only way through it is to turn the volume up on GnR's "It's So Easy", for instance.

If you are like me, and always on the lookout for good workout tunes, check out Bad Religion.

While I love them, some complain their songs all sound the same. In terms of exercise, however, it is that consistency of sound that make them perfect. You have the confidence of knowing you're going to get 30 min+ of uninterrupted guitar riffs, machine gun snare drum, and angry lyrics featuring words you need to look up in the dictionary...without any bullshit ballads to break the pace.

Arena Rock

2007-02-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

Rush has put out a boatload of music and it has earned its spot among rock's elite. If you cannot at least respect this band, then you really don't have an objective viewpoint when it comes to discussing music.

I recently imported A Farewell to Kings into my i-Tunes library, as well as a bunch of other stuff that had not yet been added to what has become my ever-growing precious...pronounce like Gollum: my digital music database....my precious. How about Buffalo Springfield, some Grateful Dead, a little Beatles (Live at the BBC) that I had lying around, and even live Who that had escaped the ripping process. Getting back to the subject, I just request that you take some time and listen to "Xanadu" all the way through. All 11:11 of it, son. Even the gristle. I just think that it helps to remind you of what huge concert rock once was - and hopefully can be again. Wolfmother just doesn't do it for me.

(Note: Yes, the movie Xanadu has nothing to do with Canadian progressive rock. But, ONJ is hot, and her hair in that movie poster is unstoppable.)

Sister Morphine

2007-02-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'd have to say that Sister Morphine belongs in the top 5 Rolling Stones songs of all time. Now, I know that getting to that level is high praise, considering their library of work....but for me this song deserves it. Thoughts?

I'd party with this guy

2007-01-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

I most often delete the forwarded e-mails that I receive from friends. You know the type. But sometimes they are worth passing on, or at least worth posting on the blog. It is not necessarily the message of the shirt, its the message PLUS the mustache and glasses. It all works. Take a look at the background. I don't know what kind of "event" this is. But I know I wanna go, and with this particular gentleman.

Classic Tripe From Yesteryear

2006-11-21T18:55:00.000-07:00

Currently being served up on something called Showtime EX, which might just mean Extra Weak, is some disaster called Big Bad Mama 2 from 1987. There must have been tons of coke going around for this to have been green-lighted. Cast? How about Robert Culp? I will see you your Culp and raise you an Angie Dickinson, wearing more fake diamonds than Liberace performing at the Kennedy Center. I watched it for 10 minutes and witnessed a bedroom scene with the actors listed above. The body doubles used for the scene, which was Red Show Diaries-esque, appeared to have used Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penelope Ann Miller. The dialogue was even worse. Don't make me quote anything. Just awful.

Prison Break

2006-11-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Highlights from the Monday 11/13 episode of Prison Break:

#1) bad bald guy asking blond hooker for a "cleveland steamer"....and willing to spend $750 for it.

#2) bathtub n' iron interrogation treatment

#3) another balding bad guy telling cohort on telephone that he would "gut him, bow to stern."

I have to admit it was quality network tv...and I don't watch much of it.

Ramsey Lewis and PBS

2006-11-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

There is a PBS show on PBS HD called "Legends of Jazz with Ramsey Lewis". I highly recommend it. Check your local listings for times. It comes with Dolby Digital sound, and the colors in HD add flair to the visual presentation of these talented artists. Ramsey hosts music heavyweights (himself being one, of course - check him out if you are not familiar with Mr. Lewis), holding short interviews with the guests before releasing them to perform - and that is the real magic of this show. Tonight, bossa nova is on the menu with Oscar Castro-Neves and Ivan Lins.

XMen 3 Breakdown

2006-10-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

I love reading James Lileks (www.lileks.com). Here's his take on the 3rd XMen movie, a flick that I found less than excellent by a wide margin. Last Stand? I just hope its the Last Movie. Seems he agrees:

"Movies: I watched X-Men 3. Might as well have called it X-Men: Let’s Just Kill Off Everyone, Then. I liked the second one, but never really loved the franchise, to use that horrid word. The entire mutant-as-a-metaphor was insulting, anyway –if you know anything about kids you know that a teen with the ability to shoot fire out of his ears would not be shunned as a weirdo freak but elected class president on general principle: dude! Awesome! I can understand parents getting upset if their kid was blue and covered with hairy nodules, but the idea that parents would consider their kid “sick” if she had the telekinetic ability to raise every car in the neighborhood nine feet in the air – please. We have parents who will go across the ocean to adopt a Down’s Syndrome baby; are we to believe that the majority of American parents reject their kids because they can levitate or cough up gold by the quart or exude perfectly formed Neapolitan Ice Cream bricks from their hindquarters? Far from persecuting them, they’d get their own reality shows. Storm would be a TV meteorologist in New York. As for your morning commute, I’ll see what I can do. Stay classy, Manhattan.

And then there’s Wolverine - he’s Troubled and Frowny and Haunted, even though he appears to be a 35 year old man living in a high school with no job, surrounded by good-looking women, and able to kill whoever he wants without any sort of legal repercussions. You almost want some mutant to confront him in the kitchen some night: what you so mad about, anyway? You can heal from a gunshot to the head in six seconds and you got spikes coming out of your hands. Yeah, well, it hurts when the spikes come out. Oh really? I shoot liquid nitrogen everytime I pee. That’s my mutation. I go by the name of Holdit. Wanna switch?."

Passenger 57

2006-10-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Seems that Mr. Snipes has found himself a bit of trouble:

TAMPA, Fla. — Actor Wesley Snipes was indicted Tuesday on eight counts of tax fraud, accused of trying to cheat the government out of nearly $12 million in false refund claims and not filing returns for six years.

Prosecutors said Snipes fraudulently claimed refunds totaling nearly $12 million in 1996 and 1997 on income taxes already paid. The star of the "Blade" trilogy and other films including "Jungle Fever" and "White Men Can't Jump" was also charged with failure to file returns from 1999 through 2004.

While the story is disturbing, I will not declare Wesley guilty until proven innocent....who knows how this case will go. What really disturbs me is that hat. Who told him that was a good look? He looks like an extra from the set of A Clockwork Orange...or maybe he is taking hints from the wardrobe people that worked on Freedomland...because that hat sucks too. Thats right, Mace Windu, your hat alone kept me from even considering that film.

Pull The Trigger

2006-09-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Hi-Def music channel currently featuring VH-1 Rock Honors repeat with Kiss, Queen, Def Leppard and Judas Priest. I have seen 2 of the 4 bands live. I really should have seen Judas Priest, as well, in the 80's - they came through AZ often enough. Kiss finishes the 2 hour program with "Love Gun", accompanied by a shitload of pyrotechnics at the end. Recommend the footage if you haven't caught it.

For reference value, from Allmusic.com :

The secret to the musical longevity of Kiss is its ability to marry the sonic muscle of hard rock to songs full of indelible pop hooks. "Love Gun" is one of the best examples of this skill, an ideal marriage of hooks and riffs that has become one of the group's defining classics. The lyrics are a statement of hard rock machismo at its most grandiose as they depict a powerful lover who likens himself to a deadly weapon: "No place for hidin', baby/No place to run/You pull the trigger of my love gun." The melody is equal parts hard rock and pop song, wedding verses that swing in an ominously heavy fashion to a chorus built on a simple, surprisingly flowery singalong hook that underlines its repetition of the title phrase. Kiss' recording of "Love Gun" turns the song into a stomping rocker punctuated with a few pop frills: the surging, swinging power chords and the machine-gun-like drum fills that drive the chorus along are pure hard rock, but the fluttery, high-pitched backing vocals that sail in on the chorus are pure pop. Paul Stanley completes the sound with a snarling vocal that makes the hyperbole of the lyrics work (fans might also be interested to know that Stanley also plays bass on this track in addition to his singing and guitar duties). "Love Gun" surprisingly failed to become a hit single despite its high hook quotient, but the song became an instant staple of the Kiss live show and retained this place of honor for years.

Ideal P.R. Man

2006-09-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

I don't see what the fuss is about. Why does the Kazakhstan government have an issue with this man representing their country? Look at those stylish shades, the snappy footwear...and..um....that fluorescent green thing. He is a master of fashion, while remaining accessible to the everyman. I salute you, Borat.

The Irwin Effect

2006-09-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

Now I know they are serious about this: stephen a smith interviews that bearded naturalist from WildBoyz (the grizzly adams guy with the shark tooth necklace) on the Deuce regarding the death of Steve Irwin. When a 3rd tier cable news show devotes a segment + interview, with a 3rd tier host and a 3rd tier guest, the story is extending through the architecture....it is remarkable to watch it develop from Drudge link to such a detailed analysis of Stingray behavior with the esteemed academic staff of....WildBoyz.

***Update: I thought I had seen enough, but then I came across Mean Guns (1997)
Please, stop it. Highlander? Ice-T? Something special is brewing here: "A crime lord challenges his rivals to a gunfight in an abandoned prison, with the winners getting $10 million." Wow. Anytime you can get The Pusher involved with the Swiss-educated sword-wielding Legend of Greystoke, magic will surely result. Come to think of it, Lambert is about as well-spoken as Van Dammage when it comes to pronouncing the language, so maybe not magic. Plenty of laughs, but no magic.

V For Vapidity

2006-08-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

Rented V For Vendetta through Netflix. I think I can summarize this film thusly:
"It's Must-See Thursday! First, at 8, Padme and V hang out watching classic b&w movies; V blows up some
shit."

The effort to paint a lunatic as a disfigured jazz aficionado with a Mensa vocabulary and a flair for entertaining made me laugh out loud. I know it was a DC Comics graphic novel, and I don't have an issue with the story line. But IMDB readers make it sound like All The President's Men . This flick was Fantastic 4 with better acting. To call it ham-handed would be a compliment.

Viggo

2006-08-30T18:37:00.000-07:00

In case anyone is interested, AMC is serving up Hidalgo right now.

(muffled chuckle)

The Bills Must Be Paid

2006-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but when discussing Hollywood and its denizens, the names of Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman come up frequently. In fact, people seem to often be thinking of one guy when they are actually thinking of the other dude. If you use 1990 as a baseline you have several big name films that feature one of these actors. Lets see.....for Paxton: Tombstone, True Lies, Apollo 13, A Simple Plan,Twister. For Pullman: Singles, Wyatt Earp (the connection to Tombstone is very weird.) Independence Day, The Grudge. Mr. Paxton was born in 1955. Mr. Pullman was born in 1953. Obviously there is no cosmic connection, but these two gentlemen seem to often occupy the same movie discussion. Tonight, however, was different. ScatTime featured some flick called Brain Dead (1990) Plot line: A process to erase unhappy memories takes a turn for the worse when a patient loses his mind during surgery. I felt like Indiana Jones finding that golden head statue thing in the cave - such a rare, rare find....a movie that had BOTH Paxton and Pullman. It was a P&P Double-Shot. Imagine that. Then sit back and consider the awesome consequences.

Hee Hee

2006-08-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

She is not that fat, but you have to laugh just the same.

2 More Reasons Why Movie Channels Suck

2006-08-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

Currently on HBO-E:
Land of the Dead (2005) A mercenary leader squares off against a rebellious comrade, while flesh-eating zombies threaten their fortified city.
Starring someone named Simon Baker and John Leguizamo.
Comment: More like Land of the Extremely Shitty Movie.

In case your crap meter is not red-lining, HBO-Zone concurrently offers this "film":
Supercross: The Movie (2005) Sibling rivalry threatens to tear apart two brothers after one wins a slot on a motocross team. Starring Steve Howey and Mike Vogel.
Comment: I don't remember Supercross: The TV Series, do you?

Star Wars Jam

2006-08-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Speaking of Star Wars....I received this strange illustration in my inbox today.

Barely Scraping By

2006-08-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

I was in the grocery line this evening and I took my usual glance through the bold headlines on the covers of People, National Enquirer, etc. The current Us Weekly cover features a photo of Tori Spelling, aka Admiral Ackbar (hint: Tori is the one on the right) The storyline was that her mother was going to cut her out of the $500 million estate left after Aaron Spelling passed away, and it said on the cover that she is "struggling to make ends meet." Yes, I am sure it must be quite rough for her right now. Hopefully her website is providing a revenue stream of some kind. I wonder if that hideous color represents royalty on the home planet of the Mon Calamari.

Memory Lane

2006-07-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

The process of ripping all of my CDs into MP3 has been time consuming, no doubt. However, the necessary steps to do so provide a walk down the musical streets of yesteryear. Or at least the "heavy rotation" of yesteryear in terms of what you were playing in your car, walkman, discman, whatever at any given point in your music history. I do have plenty of space on my 30GB iPod, but I am still trying to not add any shitty music, if I can help it. Some CDs get added with no editing. The fringe players? They are not so lucky.

Today's voyage included a reintroduction to two of Robert Plant's solo efforts - Now And Zen (1988) as well as Manic Nirvana (1990). After saying "hello" to Dance on my Own, Helen of Troy, and White, Clean and Neat for the first time in years, it was extremely pleasurable to say "goodbye" in the same 30 seconds. N&Z only was able to get 4 tracks by the editor. Sorry, Robert, but all the cool coyote symbol flags and bracelets don't get you anywhere when you are serving it up hot & steamy with songs like Billy's Revenge.

Manic did much better, with 7/10 tracks making the cut. Hurting Kind rocks. Tie Dye on the Highway rocks. Good recovery, then, for Mr. Plant.

Tonight's Netflix Selection

2006-07-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

I had been told about this film, and had seen parts of it on cable, but finally sat down tonight and watched it from start to finish : Cube (1997)

It was a pleasant diversion for 90 minutes. I think I was supposed to like certain characters versus others, and maybe hope for my favorites to survive....but actually learned to dislike the whole bunch. Their bickering became annoying, and I became more interested in who/what was confining them instead of their fate - which I guess I was supposed to focus on. They all supposedly brought something different to the table - one was a math whiz, one a doctor, etc. One guy was an autistic Rainman type, with the commensurate math skills. I would have to say the highlight for me was near the end, when the cop character referred to the idiot savant as "telethon boy". Made me chuckle. Score: 2.5 Stars (out of 5)

Not In His Wildest Hallucinations

2006-07-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

I just saw yet another of the "Man Law" commercials from our friends at Miller Lite. Aron Ralston is the guy wearing the tiedye shirt, and the one missing his right arm from the elbow down. I give ultimate props to Ralston for making a tough decision to self-amputate, in the interests of survival, after some kind of hiking accident. What I wonder about is this: if you consider Ralston's consciousness and the hallucinations that he might have experienced during this horrible ordeal, do you think he ever would have come up this: In a few years I will be doing commercials with Burt Reynolds, Eddie Griffin, and Jerome Bettis - with Miller Lite paying the freight. No way.

Hits from the Blog

2006-07-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

I was using the "Next Blog" random browsing feature of blogspot, and came across this gem. The caption says "Redneck PalmPilot". I love it.

Turn Away, I'm Hideous

2006-07-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

I am not sure about you, but this certainly qualifies in my Top 10 Least Flattering Photographs of All Time.

More Spiders, and Capt Kirk at the Regal Beagle

2006-07-27T16:42:00.000-07:00

For pure laughs, this review is outstanding. It appears Kirk favors the tight slacks whether he's on the Enterprise or not. As far as "Rack Hansen" is concerned, I cannot comment because I am laughing too hard.

Tough, Tough Decisions

2006-07-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends. I have been under the weather with a summer flu since last Saturday, Finally went in to the shaman yesterday...didn't want to, but had to do it. This was only my second visit to this MD. He is part of my insurance plan. This guy could be the stunt double for Dr. Sam Metcalf . You remember, the bitter country doctor that didn't want to go quietly when Harry Temple came to town. After a brief exam, Dr. Sam's-Stand-In gave me 2 prescrips and one OTC and now I am feeling much better in under 24 hours. Kudos to you, Doc. By the way, Arachnophobia fell far short of expectations. Granted, they were trying to keep a sense of humor. But when it comes to scary movies I demand the existence of real, tangible malevolence....and it falls short, just like Independence Day. I mean, sure, you had the alien behind the glass with the telekinetic powers, the kind of bullshit alien you might have seen here.....ok, wait back to the spider movie. You know what I mean. As soon as John Goodman showed up in the pest control truck you knew, just knew, that no character the audience cares about was going to die. Sorry, I can get off on tangents.
More importantly, I am currently listening to a random mix of the 5 Beck albums I own. I have yet to pick up Mellow Gold....don't ask why. It is almost as if I know it is an absolute treasure that I will experience at some point...but the anticipation cannot be matched. Odd, I know. But I'm an odd man. What I will do is rank the 5 Beck albums I own. I encourage your ranking and commentary.

1) Midnite Vultures (1999)
"Over Odelay? What, are you high?" This is MY ranking, not Rolling Stone. Vultures combines the 3 components that Beck specializes in, and does it well: funky grooves, great melodies, and lyrics that make you scratch your head while you bob it to the beat at the same time. Broken Train rules.
2) Odelay (1996)
I can say many glowing things about this album. It flows from A to Z like sweet molasses, and it introduced a musical genius on a large scale. Enough said.
3) Mutations (1998)
On the heels of the outrageous success of Odelay, Beck comes out with what I would call a masterpiece. Bottle of Blues and Canceled Check are two of my favorite all-time songs. Different style? Completely. But I love it. I was at Mesa Ampitheater for this tour, 4,000 people max.
4) Guero (2005)
I must admit that while I love the grooves on many tracks on this album, to me it sounds like Beck trying to mimic Beck. This effort comes in 4th place, but it is nonetheless a solid album. E-Pro sounds like Beck giving in to the music industry's desire for a single. I saw the show during this tour - Beck was part of last fall's Arizona State Fair line-up. Pay $10 to get in to the fair, and see the music for free. Best Hamilton I ever spent. This show kicked ass, including a percussion effort that involved the entire band.
5) Sea Change (2002)
There are some decent tracks here, including Paper Tiger and Lost Cause. From what I have seen Sea Change was a critical darling, but for the most part it comes across as a soundtrack for assisted suicide. Still, I listen to it when I want something completely unobtrusive in the background - like Jack Johnson.

Whew. That was not an easy chore.

The Amityville Horrific Remake

2006-07-25T22:49:00.000-07:00

I broke down and rented the remake of The Amityville Horror today. My mistake. What a weak version of a movie that scared the living shit out of me as a kid. As I was renting it, there were several previewed copies of this DVD sitting by the register - for the low price of $4.99 plus tax. The rental fee was $4.00 and change, so it was tempting to just purchase it. Lets just say I am glad I didn't spend the extra $1.00. The actress who played Kathy Lutz is pretty hot, however.

Life Better Than Art

2006-07-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

As they say, you cannot make this shit up. How could someone post this sign and keep a straight face?

I could not.

Got to Love Chauncey

2006-07-18T00:29:00.000-07:00

Getz/Gilberto

2006-07-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

I traded music with a friend of mine yesterday - and came away with an excellent addition to anyone's library

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=&sql=10:d0rvadskt8wo

I have been slowly building the jazz segment of my collection, and this seemed, as they say in the review, beyond essential. Makes you want to have some Cachaça, relax in your easy chair, and drift along for the ride.

Charles in Charge

2006-07-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

An oldie but a goodie...I had forgotten about this ad. One of the better Nike ads of all-time, IMHO. Is it Chuck D of Public Enemy on the mike? Is it the retro B/W look? Is it the Chuckster's "Who Me?" smile? Taken together, it is very amusing.
(Veoh is a new video site, ala YouTube)

http://www.veoh.com/videoDetails.html?v=e94581DKfJcZSQ&

I can't believe it!

2006-07-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

Everyone loves Justin! Everyone! Why did this happen? How could they let this happen? How could the nice man from Electric Company let this happen?

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060714-083601-5072r

Lethal Weapon

2006-07-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

I was at Nationwide VisionCare today for an eye exam. I sat on my glasses the other day and they were unable to live to tell the tale. Time for contact lenses again.

More importantly, after I had waited for over an hour for my visit with the Doctor (it was Rosenberg, for all you Fletch fans), one of the staff was whispering and pointing at me. I asked why, and she said "we were trying to figure out who you looked like. do people tell you that you resemble anyone?" I said no and that generally it was me telling others who they resembled. She laughed and said "I think you look like Gary Busey." So, of course, I then screamed at her at the top of my lungs, "My name is Mr. Joshua!" and held a lit lighter under my arm to ram home the point.

Needless to say, I got a discount on my exam.

The 4400

2006-07-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

If I recommend a television show, you can rest assured that it has some redeeming value. I'd like to think of myself as a tough critic. So, go ahead and rent Season 1 Disc 1 of The 4400

It reeks of an attempt to mimic The X-Files, but there are worse things. Once you get past some of the sappy dialogue and realize the actors are doing a great job of delivering a solid vision through their efforts to carry out the storyline....you kind of buy in. I got it through Netflix.

UPDATE #1
I am now 3 more episodes into the story...and am hooked on this show. The different subplots within the overall story mesh well together, and the challenges encountered by the main characters only serve to cement the bonds between them and the viewer. Highly recommended.

music item #2047

2006-07-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

Many dismiss Radiohead's Amnesiac . I do not, and never have. I'm a reasonable man. Get off my case.

Buffalo Bill, anyone?

2006-07-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

(Dear Readers, I am almost always willing to push the envelope in terms of what I consider humorous imagery. You have been warned.)

Some of my crew of friends/readers have decided to mock me privately over the appearance of an unknown 3rd party at this site, and any complimentary comments that may have been made.

So, if you must know, I have been acting strangely lately....friends and family, knocking loud at my door, yelling at me to open up. Inside I wear a kimono and lipstick, doing the weenie-tuck while I dance in front of a full-length mirror ala Jame Gumb....the stereo loudly drones on, offering a one word monotone salute to whatever username is the most recent to lavish praise on my writing skills.

The truth is that I (most likely) will not dance in front of the mirror or engage in any other bizarre behavior if you happen to tell me how much you enjoy this blog. But please feel free. Now, I must go. It's So Easy just came on the box, and well, you know...Slash calls.

I have to choose

2006-07-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

Although I will constantly change the verbage under the name of the blog (sort of a tribute to
the Red Meat comic strip. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it. it is easy to find through google) I do have to choose a handle and stick with it so that responses to comments etc will not be confusing. So, in keeping with the title of this blog, we'll just go with "The Nefarious One". Not great, and not as much fun as changing it every other day, but at least you will know it is me when I am ripping your useless comments to shreds.

The Candy Song

2006-07-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

Some friend of mine used the phrase "Habit Chain" over the weekend. I liked the phrase, and it made me think of different habits that I have. One of them, as those who know me well will tell you, is my sweet tooth. Make that sweet teeth, because it cannot be just one that clamors for sugary snacks. I know this is genetic. How so? One anecdote tells all. I brought my father to an AZ Diamondbacks playoff game in 2001, and it was game 5 of a 5 game series against St Louis. It was in the 8th inning of a 1-1 pitchers duel...and you could feel the tension of the fans. It was electric. This is what baseball fans live for...these moments. I then feel someone tugging on my left shirt sleeve - and it was my father : "I'm out of cash, do you have a couple of bucks so I can got get some ice cream?" Enough said. With all this in mind, enjoy The Candy Song...

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Twizzlers and Nerd Ropes
Snickers all around
the wrappers are shiny
crunch, crunch is the sound

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Sour Patch dreams
haunt me all day
perhaps some Chewy Sprees
will light my way

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

show me a Gummi Bear
you'll see me smile
you ask about Skittles
see the big pile?

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Rolos and Kit Kat
i won't share a bit
Hubba Bubba and Bubble Yum
you ain't gettin' shit

i like candy
candy for free
i like candy
candy for me

Mac Madness

2006-07-08T15:17:00.000-07:00

I finally shed the PC world in early May when I picked up this Mac iBook G4. I had not purchased a new computer since 1999, so this was not unlike "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" when I started using the Mac. Easy to use, instant WiFi access, the Dashboard feature - I loved all of it. Almost 2 months of pure consumer satisfaction. I should have known it was too perfect to be true.

In a nutshell, the Mac began freezing up and became unusable. Its not like I was using it to tap into NORAD and try to derail Mr. Kim Jong's ballistic assault. I was trying to read ESPN and send/receive e-mail. Nothing major. So I sent it back to Apple Repair and patiently waited for it to come back. 8 days later the unit comes back and its like Christmas morning. That is, until it started to show the same problems after only 5 hours of use. I was apoplectic, and that is an understatement (can there be a level of anger beyond apoplectic? perhaps we can call it "catatonic rage") Little did I know that it would pale in comparison to the levels of incredulity that came when I encountered some of the denizens of Apple Tech Support.

My first nomination for "Obtuse Asshole Tech Support Person" is someone we'll call Sam. I got to talk to this gentleman after the initial call earlier in the day, by the time I had realized that Apple's initial repairs did nothing to fix the problem. He attempted to regurgitate some policies about their repair process and I had to interject and tell him I knew what he is referring to and can't we just move this along. My prize for trying to be efficient? "Sir, you are very rude. Every time I start talking you cut me off. That is very, very rude." Oh yeah, Sammy? Rude? Tell you what, nerd. Stop that unending conveyor belt of absolute bullshit rolling out of your mouth and just get me to someone who will A) let a disgruntled customer rant a bit when his $1000 electronics purchase performs like a drink coaster and B) will not lecture a customer about proper conversational etiquette when the customer has just received a supposedly repaired computer. FAH Q, just like Ben Afflect's paddle said in Dazed & Confused.

The next candidate would be Barbara in Customer Relations. I was forwarded to her after talking to Sam, the skillfull diplomat. After I gave her a total reset of the scenario, she must have reached deep to try to help. How deep? How about this: "Well, sir, I am sorry to hear about your troubles. My notes do indicate, however, that we got the unit back to you in the 7-10 day timeframe we promise." Of course, I couldn't help but chuckle when she trotted out that piece of garbage. She got indignant and said "I can't believe you are laughing in my face." WHAT? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? Your firm produces a total lemon, the customer sends it back for repair and goes without a key component of his home office for a week+ and then gets the same goddamn lemon back....and you want to laud your company for the quick turnaround? I can overnight a box of dogshit too, and I don't have the resources of Apple. Let me offer a suggestion: Shut it before you dig the hole any deeper. I think I'll give the Blue Star Award for Complete and Total Incompetence to Barb.

My laptop is now in the hands of the people at the nearby Apple Store, and they tell me they will take care of things. Lets hope so. I have often thought that real customer service is dead now, and the only way to get any justice is to be the squeaky wheel. This horrific experience only solidified that belief. Thanks, Apple, for destroying your reputation with me in just under 10 days.

Movie Reviews

2006-07-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy Internet Movie Database...what a great website. You get to read movie reviews by total randoms, including the following gem from some Canadian gentleman named "mm-39". How Shatner figures into things, I don't know, but this made me laugh out loud. The review is for Chuck Norris' film Good Guys Wear Black:

Better than TJ Hooker
7 March 2002
Author: mm-39 from Winnipeg

This guy is better than TJ Hooker. This guy does not jump on car windows, like TJ, he kicks threw them. Other than that this film is lamer than the 80-81 Winnipeg Jets. Not much of a story, but the budget did not help. I like the karate, but the acting was sad. I would suggest this film for someone I did not like.

Oh, that Trent

2006-07-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

Listening to the iPod on shuffle. Currently 3400 songs and counting. Among the hits offered by the electronic brain today was Ringfinger, off of Nine Inch Nail's 1989 release Pretty Hate Machine. The head-bobbing electronic beats...combined with the tortured existence of the souls playing parts within the songs and the lyrics that animate them in the theater of your imagination....all I can say is Wow. When Reznor is on, he is ON.

Thanks, Scarlett

2006-07-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

First off, make no mistake about it: I really like Scarlett Johansson. Lost in Translation was a great film, and she was a big part of it. However, I cannot pass up the opportunity to laugh at her. In the recent Summer Double-Issue of Entertainment Weekly, where they offer their list of "Must see" people and things, they do a page on her as "Must Workaholic". I guess she is spending alot of time on the set these days. Perhaps she just can't shake her "dumb blonde" character from The Island, or maybe this passes for serious reflection on her part:

"When I was a freshman in high school, I thought I had other things I wanted to do, like anthropology, or silly things like botany or opening a bakery. But now I can't imagine not being an actor."

Yes, thats right. Evaluating ancient cultures, or perhaps the plant life on planet Earth is silly, just like baking bread and selling it. Silly, silly baker-man. Silly botanist. Keep busy with your trivial pursuits....while I do really important things like star in movies opposite Josh Hartnett.

I'm Back

2006-06-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

I have not posted for over a year. But I have a new mac laptop. And I'm online ALL the time with work and surfing. So, I might as well start writing again.

Stay tuned.

The Force, or is it FlexAll?

2005-05-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

I had been waiting for the right time to go see Revenge of the Sith. I was 7 years old when Episode IV came out in '77, a perfect age for that kind of movie. I had all the action figures, I had the Land Speeder with the retractable wheels, and of course I had my own X-Wing Fighter. It seemed everyone at school had some combination of the aforementioned items....some even had those foot-long action figures, the coolest one of all being Boba Fett, of course.

I had not made firm plans with anyone to see it, so on Monday night I just went solo to take it in. Blame FOX for giving me Episode II, Attack of the Clones, on Sunday in HiDef with Dolby 5.1....all of a sudden I was jonesing to pick up the story where it had been left off. Smart programming.
Going alone to the movies gives you the freedom to choose the best seat in the house. There are always single seats available because, for the most part, people do not enjoy having to sit next to our fellow citizens in such close proximity. Sure enough, after choosing a seat smack dab in the middle of the row, the guy next to me waited 5 minutes before moving to the right about 2 seats, complete with an "I am annoyed" snort. I don't stink. I don't talk, and I don't fling MilkDuds everywhere when I eat, so this fellow clearly felt it was just...too....close. I hope he works through his issues.

As far as the movie goes, I give it a 7/10. It is MUCH better than the last two Lucas offerings, if only because he keeps the pace moving. He cuts down on the sedative-like effects found in the dialogue of the previous 2 movies and gives us much more of the action/adventure we came to see in the first place. I guess George figured out that we're not here to see Anakin and Padme declare their love for each other. We're here to see Jango Fett launch some crazy missle off of his JetPack, some gadget that makes MacGyver look like he's working out a plumber's tool kit. The acting still sucks, and Samuel Jackson should be tested to see how much wood is in his body...Master Windu will not be appearing in any off-Tatooine stage productions...what a throw-away role. Speaking of the Jedi Council, I have to bring up this bothersome inconsistency (credit to JM, a friend in Santa Fe): in every shot, Yoda is walking around with a cane, and seemingly hobbled from a life of battling the Dark side and various other back-breaking Jedi labor he may have engaged in.....BUT, just like in the last movie's fight with Count Dooku, when the heat is on the guy transforms into something not unlike the bizarre monkey-style fighter in Bloodsport. I suppose we must accept that the Force, while its main focus is to provide various abilities like Chokehold and Levitate, also offers a soothing menthol heat for tired joints and muscles. Rub more of the Force in the affected area if symptoms reappear. I also must give props to Christopher Lee as Count Dooku. Lee was running around with Peter Cushing and Vincent Price in 50's and 60's horror films...http://imdb.com/title/tt0059125/...and here we are 50 years later and he looks like Connery's stunt double from Entrapment. Nice make-up work. Very nice.

Dog Pee in My Kitchen

2005-05-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

I walked the dog in the park near my house this morning and came upon a small 'lady and the tramp' style terrier male puppy (Buddy) and a huge choco lab male (Loki). Thinking their people must be around somewhere, I tried to go past them but they were sniffing my dog Daisy (adopted boxer/pitbull) and following us. No leashes, and no one showed up in 10 minutes to take claim. Their was no answer at the number on both tags, and they were too near a major street, so I took both of them and brought them home. Buddy whizzed on my kitchen floor, looking at me like he was saying "Thanks for letting us chill here, chump." 2 hrs later the people finally answered their phone and I drove them over to their home, 6 blocks away or so. They were very thankful..if you have ever lost your dog(s) for any period of time it is a terrible, awful mental place to be. I was offered a cold Pepsi...very nice of them. While on the front lawn, the man of the house hit me with the folded up bill, the style you use when you need to make less look like more with the luggage guy. It was mysterious to look at it, it could be a 20, it could have been a 10, 5..even a single for that matter...you didn't know...and therein was the wonderful not-knowing of the process. I returned this man's animals...and he tipped me. Its not the amount ($5 as it turned out), but the skycap/doorman flavor of it. I dream of a world where men roam the streets, ready at a moment's notice to rescue your dog from possible death/injury by motor vehicle...or, if not, maybe load your golf clubs into the car.

2005-04-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

"Hey, you with the beard. Why are we all so goddamn short? Is Darth Vader this short?"

Its easy to fix the Millenium Falcon now

2005-04-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

The following is a good example of what I might come up with on this online journal, this blog, as all the hipsters are calling it. A friend of mine told me I should do more analysis on Nef. R, more depth. There will be time in the future for long-winded manifestos and for some "heavy rotation" features, features like "Music Picks of the Week" or the like. I'm still getting my sea legs, and sometimes this site will reflect what is on the "Mr. Bobo's Table" of my brain. If you go to political blogs at all you'll notice that almost every entry is like an Op-Ed piece within your local paper: What is a hot topic, and what do I want to say about it? There is too much of that already in the blogosphere. I strongly feel there is always room for nonsense, and Jello as well. (If you're scratching your head over the ref. to one Mr. Bobo, then you didn't watch enough Cheers)

The item that caught my eye today is the new LEGO/Star Wars video game. Yes, I'm one of those men in their mid-30's that cannot shed their video game roots - and why should I? If you were a boy lucky enough to come of age when the Atari 2600 was THE holiday gift, and the Combat game seemed as detailed and rich as today's military training programs, then you know where I'm coming from. I have watched the latest renaissance with joy. With XBox Live I can play some snot-nosed Midwestern kid - a real-time human opponent - in FIFA soccer while sitting on my couch and eating my Mixed Berry gummies. That is quite a leap.
The "creative" team in question decided to make a video game for the latest consoles featuring on-screen characters (see screenshot above) that appear exactly as real LEGO people appear : little overweight midgets with 3-D horseshoe hands and a facial expression that suggests mild retardation. Supposedly these little Life Goes On Jedi Masters not only fit the graphical world of Star Wars but also comfort the little tyke playing this adventure with soothing, familiar icons. Even the cool spaceships that exist in this galaxy far, far away are limited to the Lego block system...who knew? Why not just chuck the Lego license entirely and pay the graphic artists to create vivid player characters that fill your screen with color and detail but tone down the violence and sell it as a G-rated kids Star Wars game? No, lets just give 'em some of the same plastic shit they get out of the box.
Perhaps this works on some level. I don't know. They call it "kid-friendly" in the one of the taglines. How about this one : "We've imagined the plastic for you."

UPDATE: A friend with an MBA tells me that this is good marketing at work. He is probably right, and the game will sell well. I still think the kids would rather look at the kind of visuals that they can see in their heads using a little imagination, not the plastic little man in their hands.

Be sure to visit

2005-03-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Cruise on over and check it out:

http://theoctaviolense.blogspot.com

Good sports analysis with humor and insight

Did Ray Guy use "The Clear"?

2005-03-29T15:21:00.002-07:00

I just had to comment on this...I was cruising around cbs sportsline 5 minutes ago and I read this little gem:

The Carolina Panthers' Todd Sauerbrun and Jeff Mitchell and former player Todd Steussie had steroid prescriptions filled by a West Columbia, S.C., doctor now under investigation by federal authorities, according to a 60 Minutes Wednesday report.

WHAT? Now the punters are bulking up? I am less suprised at steroids in the NFL, of course, but when guys like Sauerbrun decide they need that "extra edge" I start wondering what we may find down the rabbit hole. Performance enhancing drugs are nothing new, especially considering all the Olympians that have been accused of juicin' up, and I can handle it when Romo goes insane during Raiders practice and ends somebody's career. But if I am just supposed to shrug when Todd effin' Sauerbrun, the punter, is caught adding a little extra to those guns of his, I think we have crossed into an area where absolutely anything is possible.

I can see it now....Steroid Scandal rocks the PGA! Davis Love III shootin' up in the Porta-John during the Masters Pro-Am!

Lazy Blogging and Pity for Millionaires

2005-03-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

First off, my apologies for not tending to the blog garden for 2+ weeks. I have been so busy... mostly with trying to find out what kind of wine Jacko used to get the kids into their underwear. How did he decide? Did he go to the wine store and ask "Pardon me. I have a question about entertaining some guests of mine. What kind of wine is good for hanging out with pre-teens wearing their Underoos?" I don't know. Maybe a nice Shiraz gets you to Aquaman. It certainly is worth discussion, if you're a sick twisted freak like myself.

Now to Barry. I know all of you are not big sports fans, or even fans of MLB. However, even the most casual observer must admit that the recent press conference featuring Mr. Bonds and his son was, in a word, unreal. It is one thing to blame the media for your troubles. Most people are familiar with sports stars who refuse to take any responsibility for their problems, especially problems that just so happen to create salacious fishwrap-selling headlines. It is another thing entirely when said star decides to trot his family members out in order to curry sympathy from the viewing public. It was so transparent...he actually said "expand the camera angle so you can see my son". I'm still not sure of what I witnessed, it was so unbelieveable. When you make pro athlete cheddar, you had better accept everything that comes along with it. Yes, Barry, that includes the kind of media attention that makes a Proctology exam look like an over-the-phone consultation. He clearly still cannot accept this part of his life as "Star", and at 40 years plus it makes his mind and his judgement seem awfully adolescent. I hope his son was keen to the whole situation, and made the appearance as a favor to his dad. His son is most likely more emotionally mature that Bonds...I'd bet money on it. Who knows, if Bonds is this child-like perhaps Mr. Beat It (has a whole new meaning, don't it) has a chance to get him into a Neverland bedroom with a small glass of chardonnay. My guess is that Bonds is partial to Wonder Woman under that SF Giants jersey.

Point/Counter Point

2005-03-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

See below for a review of last night's Crue show at MSG, followed by a rebuttal, both from friends of mine acting as guest music reviewers for the day:

Yes, we ventured to Madison Square Garden last night to partake in the New York City stop of Motley Crue's Carnival of Sins tour. To be quite honest, I think the Crue did the best job they possibly could given their one fatal flaw. And what is that flaw? Their songs are derivative and they all sound eerily similar. I am not saying that characteristic is necessarily a bad thing. But for a band to pull this stunt off successfully, they better have their craft perfected (AC/DC comes immediately to mind).

The first set of the show was a full frontal assault from their first two albums, including Shout At The Devil, Too Fast For Love, On With The Show, 10 Seconds To Love, Red Hot, Too Young To Fall In Love, Looks That Kill and Live Wire. The advantage of this set was that the songs were tight and succinct and really showed off the unbelievable talent of Tommy Lee. As for the other members, Vince Neil's voice was surprisingly strong, Mick Mars barely made a movement besides picking his guitar (it's a major detriment to a hard rock band when your lead axe man looks like a mannequin) and Nikki Sixx had the low hung bass look down pat.

The second set focused on the back half of their career which veered from the good ("Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Wild Side") to the painful ("Without You" and "Home Sweet Home"). The encore featured a percussion masturbation from Tommy Lee that was brutal to endure. Also, if I had to hear one more shout out to the fans about how, "we got back together for one motherf***in reason only, its because of you motherf***in fans!" Is that right, Vince? It wouldn't have anything to do with my $70 ticket now?

While there is no doubt that Motley Crue has written rock anthems that will persevere through time and will continue to make my drive home after work entertaining, they are a one trick pony. And when a one trick pony goes on for over two hours, boredom will inevitably set in.

Grade: C +

NOW, the rebuttal:

"All the songs sound the same"---are you fucking kidding me??? This is the exact same thing my father said as he was driving me to the Twisted Sister "Stay Hungry" Tour" show at Freedom Hall Plaza (Johnson City, TN)--circa 1985. A couple of points to add: While I will agree that "Without You" falls into the "let's go get a beer" category, the song "Home Sweet Home" is neither from the "back half of their career" (it came out on the "Theater of Pain" album in '84) nor should it fall into the category of "painful". Indeed, many would categorize "Home Sweet Home" as the original hair metal ballad and as such should be given the respect it deserves (As I type this with my right hand, I am holding a lighter in the air with my left). Secondly, a drum solo by Tommy Lee is "brutal"?? Here again, it is time for the reviewer to go ahead and slip on the mock turtle neck and tweed sportcoat and turn in his metal collection for the soothing sounds of Sade, Kenny G, or Clay Aiken. Tommy Lee's drum solos, while purposely overly dramatic, are considered a staple in the world of heavy metal shows such as these---letting him showcase his talent, etc. Would you have made the same claims if John Bonham was still alive and had the obligatory solo??

I hope he has Dr. Feelgood

2005-03-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Please join me in sending out a Get Well Soon to DD, currently held up in the Rocky Mtns. I hope they are piping Fu Manchu into your room, buddy. Nothing makes you feel better like songs about riding dirt bikes....really, really fast.
Meanwhile, I'm sure these gentlemen hope to see you soon.

Sideways...and Merlot

2005-02-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me a link to this guy's website. I had seen this fellow's "Children's artwork reviews" before, very very funny. But this little rant regarding the movie Sideways is well worth your time:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sideways

2005-02-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

Carrie-Anne Moss arrives and smiles at the paparazzi, showing off the latest in Matrix fashion. Moss was in L.A. attending a suprise gala bash to announce yet another film in the popular Sci-Fi series. (Pic courtesy of AP/Drudge Report)

Speechless

2005-02-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

Just seen on Home Shopping Network:
Introducing Item 660-558 $52.90
Suzanne Somers Faux Anaconda Nailhead Studded Sunglasses

(Trust me. These ridiculous shades would make Al Davis hesitate.)

I don't really have to add to this, but Ms. Somers herself is on the show, hawking this shit. Let me give you a direct quote, as she addressed one of the poor models wearing this crap: "You look like a million bucks." She just said something else....the TV is in the other room. Something about a fabric known as Leopard Suede. There are other "garments" involved besides the glasses.
No. Please, Chrissy. No.

Mr. Bonds is a bit defensive

2005-02-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

By now, I'm sure all the baseball fans out there have taken notice of Barry's tirade...um, I mean press conference. I heard Dave Kindred from the sporting news comment on this situation while I was listening to the radio today...I think he is right on when he suggests that most sports stars have a relationship with the fans through the media, and most manage that relationship much better than Bonds. Because Bonds will be in a Cold War with the media until he retires, he doesn't get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to steroids...he doesn't have any goodwill with the press, so thus they don't try very hard to cast him in a positive light when it comes to these allegations.

a brief comment

2005-02-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

I think there are many rules about blogging that I need to adhere to, and right off the bat I know that generally bloggers will offer a "hat tip" to the people that either provide links to desired content, or ideas, or whatever. So, in the interests of getting this off on the right foot, I offer a "hat tip" to www.lileks.com

I derived my username from one of his posts, I encourage you to visit his site. Many interesting things to see there, and he has a unique sense of humor.

2005-02-23T15:02:00.000-07:00

If you don't recognize this, you probably were a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman fan at some point in your life.

Welcome to my Blog

2005-02-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my Weblog. I have thought about starting one before but never got moving on it. Too many ideas and thoughts, however, to keep them crammed inside my head. This blog will be about many things, and pop culture certainly covers much of these areas. Thoughts on music, comedy, sports, and some of my sillier observations will be offered to you for your enjoyment. I know a variety of people and they all have some interesting things to say - so hopefully they will get excited to participate.

Today, while walking the dog, I was listening to a local FM station, and got hit with a sweet back to back: Van Halen's "Panama" followed by AC/DC's "Have a Drink on Me". If thos two songs don't get you going, you might as well cover yourself with dirt right now. Got to love Phoenix radio. ButtRock 24/7.